The coming-of-age process is a transitory stage -among others- in the human life. Unlike puberty, which is more of a hormonal and physical change, coming-of-age deals with moral and psychological subjects. Chill out. It's not like deciding whether you should attend a charge-free wedding of your ex-girlfriend (wanting to make you "pay", obviously) in the island country of Fiji knowing that you will never have enough money to visit the Fiji on your own, it's "just" the transition from childhood to adulthood... Of course, it's not an overnight process; it demands preparation, a good moral base, and help. A lot of help.
To be fair, this is not as easy as it sounds. In fact, wanting to sate those demands has side effects for young people and students., and those side effects result in angst, frustration and stress. But these mental states are very normal: they are the core of this big process, alongside constant questioning. If someone isn't feeling frustrated or any kind of angst in his coming-of-age process, then he/she is not in the right way in my opinion. It's such a defining feature of this process that it wouldn't make any sense without it; the process wouldn't even be a transitory state without it.
You may ask me: why is angst so important? Shouldn't this be a problem, something you look forward to avoid? Well, this is human life in a developed society that we are dealing with. 'Questioning our future' isn't just another way of saying "do your homework or you'll end up working at McDonald's ". It's not only about work, it includes relationships, spiritual life, planning vacation destinations apart from Florida, worrying about your beloved parents. If these questionings doesn't make you anxious, then I'd love to know your life changing formula!
Anyway, these thoughts sound a lot 'serious', and would push out the desire of being an adult from many young people. That's when help comes into place. All the anxiety driven by the process will find its goal no matter what it takes, and that goal is happiness. But there are many ways for happiness, and many of these ways last for a short term. By the way, here is a trailer of a movie I recommend you to watch if you haven't already. It is 'Requiem for a Dream', directed by Darren Aronofsky.
The help from experienced elders guide the aim of the angst and the clouds of questioning towards the true, green plain of happiness, instead of letting the person run and fall from a breath-taking cliff. Literally. Those cliffs consist of the drugs pathways, lies in relationships, or, in extreme situations, prostitution. The novel "Lullabies for Little Criminals" by Heather O'Neill depicts all those struggles in the coming-of-age process of a young girl.
Looking to unwind from all the angst, young people do sports, practice their religion, socialize, listen to music, and the list goes on and on. All these activities are kind of an escape from the worrying and anxiety brought to youth by questioning their own future. But the real escape is the escape that will last forever, and that will happen only after all the questions are answered, after all the personal choices are made and after the pathways are clear.
Angst, frustration, fear of the unknown... They are the tunnel for the coming-of-age process. And like any tunnel, it has an end; the light will regain possession. Pain and gain.
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